I came across an article on the BBC website recently on the difficulties of a loss.
When Sophie Townsend’s husband, Russell, died in 2012 she was overcome with grief, but as the mother of two young children she had to keep going. She describes the new life she began at the age of 39, a single parent and widow slowly “re-entering the world” – and becoming OK.
We all will suffer a loss of a loved one in our lives and the first time this happens can be the most destabilising. The loss and the feeling of emptiness can leave us in a time warp for many months. It’s ok to be a mess ….for a while, at least. It’s an old cliche but as most old cliche’s are true so is the fact that your loved and missed ones would not want you sitting around moping, feeling sad and not living your live to the fullest.
How to draw a line in the sand? Well, a good start is to let yourself be vulnerable. Masking the issue with denial or alcohol will only delay the grieving process – speaking to friends and family openly and honestly on how you’re feeling will lift the weight from your shoulders and is a lot healthier than a few bottles of Bordeaux.
A trip to Bordeaux or anywhere you have always wanted to travel is a good idea. Getting out of your immediate environment to experience a new place reminds you that life is worth living. If not travel doing what you love and setting goals will help to remind you that life is worth living.
It is possible to let go and at the same time cherish the memories of your loved one. Once ready, and only when you’re ready, make a plan what to do with the ashes rather than having them sit in the bottom of the cupboard in that ‘ugly plastic container’ or nondescript urn. There is a number of possibilities now with everything from ashes into space or scattering the ashes in a rose garden. Memorialjewelleryae have a range of beautiful pendants holding a token amount of ashes to keep your loved ones close to your heart at all times. And It is now possible to create a diamond from your loved ones ashes with Algordanza setting the standard and the only cremation diamond company allowing visits before purchasing as they understand the need for openness and integrity when dealing with cremation ashes.
?The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ?get over? the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss that you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same. Nor would you want too.? ? Elisabeth Kubler-Ross